so this is like a shot in the dark.

I don't want you to think that im crazy jealous or anything. I would normally keep this to myself and not write it in a blog because quite frankly, it is lame. But also quite frankly, I don't give a shit...because I am a hot mess.

I want you to be happy because I like you the most when you are happy so I don't exactly know why im so weird, I think its because you don't seem excited about anything pertaining to seeing me? because you are just thinking about lady gaga and bloc party and jeans? I feel unimportant most of the time because I am so far away...and I get that you have a life that is more than me as it should be, but I want some lovin'. I get freaked out because I love you so much and I dont want you to think that I am crazy so i dont like to talk to you about certain things...Im just lonely, really lonely, and I wish I was with you. If you could ever do anything to make me happy it would be proving Cecilia wrong as hell. That's all.

bahhhhh.

I was listening to Birds and having quite the dandy time when i fell down the stairs. cement stairs. I'm sure it looked funny but no one laughed. oh well.

But he was looking at her all funny in the eye. she said, "come on boy tell me what you're thinking, now don't be shy." he said, "alright. i'll try. all the stars up in the sky and the leaves in the trees, all the broken bits that make you jump up and grassy bits inbetween...all the matter in the world is how much i like you."

things on my mind today:
1. chimpanzees are 99% gentically similar to us.
2. im going to try to fit "loony bin" into by description of a days events.
3. strawberry, peach, or banana? i need new chapstick.
4. fruit flys can get mutations and develop ectopic eyes on their poor genitals. considering they study mutations in fruit flies to help understand humans im concerned that one day i might encounter a penis that is actually staring back at me.
5. I get to walk through the woods and im so excited I might dance.

war.

so i dont really like straylight run anymore but i do still love Hands in the Sky. Im listening to it right now and i cant even tell you how perfectly it fits my mood. If i was a song it would be this one.

Today was kind of really shitty. i hate everyone, well not everyone, but i hate people. when i say i hate people, fuck "hate" being a strong word, because i really hate them. I want to believe in humanity again, like we all did when we were young, but a big big fucking miracle is going to have to happen if that is ever going to come about. However, there are always those few people, like you if you're reading this, that are the exceptions to everything i say about hating everyone. thank you and i love you with everything that i have.

Ive watched a lot of Lost today, and i really really love it.

im glad she said no or i'd have to slap that ho.

this blog thing is supposed to be about things that we like, so im going to go way back to the basics: I LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE NICE TO ME. i was defeated today for no apparent reason besides he was just too good to talk to me and i do not have any patience for any of that shit today. it made me love you a lot more though, which i did not think was possible.

i love white ninja comics.

your mind's in disturbia.

apparently chris brown's mind is in some sort of disturbia, because he has ruined his life by beating her up.

why are boys so dumb?
even the ones who are not dumb do dumb things sometimes.
and why is Olivia such a bitch?
i hate hate hate hate her. if you call yourself a "socialite" you just want people to think you are important because you have nothing going on and you suck. if she didn't look like a rat i would like her more, but she isnt even a real life person so i guess she is just there to irritate girls like me that strive to be nothing like her.

i want to be one of those people who knows a lot about wine.
to accomplish this i am going to france. or italy. i like italian a lot more.

Why I hate everone.

I cant seem to understand why everyone around me is such a douche. If you didnt want me to be there just say so. Dont try to dis me cause I know your secrets. Like how you slept and not just next to your "friend." I really cant understand why you did that your mad cause your ex just did the same thing to you. Obviously you didnt really care you just wanted to be a Bitch. Your "friends" they all sluts, well not all cause their not getting any. B.O. dont be mad cause your not that hot. actually your not attractive in any way thats why your dating a fat slob. Pound i dont even know how you got that name. You are so huge your pant size is um.. umm. Bitch lose some weight. Bob you are a just a little boy. No one likes you. get over your little man syndrom and get some clearasil. Joe you just an idiot. I hate you all. You can all go get fucked and live in your trailor park together.

this is why im hot

so, i LOVE making lists. and I also hate facebook. so i put this here because i would rather you read it than those bitches. Its a list of the 25 songs that I can't live without and i can listen to over and over and not get tired of. So it's like my life in a list. Nick, I want you to do this too because I love you.

1. Shout- Tears for Fears
2. The Wretched- Nine Inch Nails
3. Trojan Horse- Bloc Party
4. Everyone Nose (remix)- N.E.R.D
5. Not the Sun- Brand New
6. Mouthwash- Kate Nash
7. Alegria- err...Cirque du Soleil
8. Many Funerals- Eisley
9. Pour Some Sugar on Me- Def Leppard
10. The Con- Tegan & Sarah
11. Boy With A Coin- Iron & Wine
12. Closer- Kings of Leon
13. The Dope Show- Marilyn Manson
14. Message of Love- Journey
15. Space Monkey- Placebo
16. So- Tracy Chapman
17. Two Step (only live version)- Dave Matthews Band
18. Radar- Britney Spears
19. The Warmth- Incubus
20. I Can Barely Breathe- Manchester Orchestra
21. War All the Time- Thursday
22. Inertia Creeps- Massive Attack
23. Electric Feel- MGMT
24. Out of Control- She Wants Revenge
25. Split Needles- The Shins

WHO iiiis this bitch?

CAMEL TOE CAMEL TOE CAMEL TOE
oh dear.
i saw one today and almost yelled it like who? rock of love charm school. camel toe with furry boots, WHO iiiss this bitch trying to be?
i have become increasingly tired of the cold. It's such a sad time of year.
People are almost completely unapproachable when its cold. Coats, earmuffs, gloves...furry boots.......CAMEL TOE. Not that camel toe cannot be witnessed in the summertime but at least there is some skin to look at too. Everything is just dead now...but my love is just blossoming! Kind of not kidding in a way but I feel like being sarcastic to a fault today.